We received an email yesterday from our agency announcing that there would be no more EPs (exit permissions) issued by the Korean government until January 2012. In non-adoptive language it means that for families (like ours) that have not received a referral, regardless of when you do, you may not travel to bring that child home until at the earliest Jan. 2012.
And so we remain a family of 6 for 2011.
I was feeling a bit "sucker punched" as this was new to me. I had heard for the first time last month about a different agency that had run into a back log of EPs for their families. (More referrals sent out then the government would allow EPs for.) I was a bit frustrated then because I didn't even know this possibility existed. I do wish we would have been informed of the chance--I don't think it would have changed our decision--but would have allowed this mommas heart some time to prepare.
I think this has happened before with our agency but in the late fall. Again, meaning that families that received their referrals after Sept. would wait to travel until the first of the year. Last I checked it isn't even June yet and so the "sucker punch" struck.
I went up to my room to "prink". (Tim told me that is what Francis Chan calls thinking and praying.) I posted on Facebook that I was "feeling defeated by the Korean government". Then I went to bed.
And then the Lord spoke to my heart. The words written in Exodus, that I shared as my lesson learned some weeks ago, came alive as ONLY the Word of God can:
"Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
And so I am reminded that the battle in adoption is not just fought through paperwork and huge fees...it is bigger and more complex that what we see. There is a spiritual battle for the lives of these children (and for the lonely, oppressed..) that we cannot see. This is the battle that the Lord is fighting. He is fighting for the underdog who He loves, who He would leave the other 99 to find.
He will NOT be defeated. I am standing with renewed strength to endure on the side that is UNDEFEATABLE.